Some Mother’s Days have been more memorable than others. I don’t really remember my first one at five months preggers. My second Mother’s Day, Shuugs was seven months old and by my third I was pregnant with the medium child and had a crazy 19 month old running around. Those were very happy busy times. I am sure any gifts, cards and or meals…. were lovely. There isn’t anything that sticks out in particular. I don’t have a specific memory that I reminisce over from those early years.
One particular Mother’s day will never blend into the fabric of life. I ponder it off and on most of the month before that once a year date arrives. Mother’s Day I figured out I was pregnant with number three! Even now I can’t believe I was really so clueless. It was such an odd sequence of events at a unique time in our family life. I guess I was just lost in mothering two early elementary kiddos, working part time, and keeping a house going that only felt complete half the time.
Half of a Family Life
When our two kiddos were 7 and 5 years old Hubs started traveling for work. His schedule was home for two weeks then away for two weeks. He would fly out on Sunday afternoon and return 12 days later on Friday night. I would feel whole again when he arrived home from those two weeks away.
His work away from home was a long, but drive-able distance from where we live. Our kids had always been great in the car so we drove over to see him every few months. We would enjoy five or six days hanging out in Daddy’s hotel. The kids loved swimming in the pool, seeing the sights, and visiting with his sister who lived nearby. The hotel visits made for some great family memories. They also made for some nice husband and wife time, especially on the visits when his hotel would move us into a suite.
The Spring Break Visit
During his second year of traveling we spent spring break with Daddy. After all, who doesn’t love a freshly made hotel bed and cable TV you don’t have at home? Little did we know someone new came home with us on that trip.
Sometime near the end of April, I started feeling really tired all the time. I have depression so sometimes I struggle with tiredness. With the “half of family life” taking place it wasn’t surprising that I was feeling tired. It became a problem when I seemed to absolutely require a nap every afternoon! My mom and I talk most mornings so she knew I was tired, my mom was starting to be concerned that I had a serious health issue. Friends, I was 39 years old and completely clueless! Seriously, it took quite a while for it to dawn on me what could be going on.
The light finally came on the week before Mother’s day. I woke up a couple of mornings feeling really nauseous and by Saturday it was so bad that the light finally came on in neon colors! I wasn’t even sure how it was possible! We had tried for a third child a few years earlier, long before I was almost 40! I prayed for pregnancy or peace with our family size. I felt God’s peace in our family of four. We found contentment as a Daddy, a Mommy, a Girl and a Boy.
Now What?
I wanted to take a test to know for sure. I also had to get on with life. Nauseous or not I took the kids on my usual Walmart run. Daddy was scheduled to leave on Sunday afternoon. I wanted to pick-up a couple things for him before he left. I managed to pick out a pregnancy test in the “Family Planning” isle, avoiding the awkwardness. While the kids were distracted with the colorful boxes of pads and tampons, I tucked it under my purse. I even remembered to put it on the conveyor belt, and pay for it with the other items on my list. Thankfully it went unnoticed.
By this time I had commented to Hubs that I thought I might be pregnant. I knew from before I might as well wait for the next morning to take a test and see. Sunday- Mother’s Day- morning I slipped downstairs as soon as my eyes popped open. It most certainly did not take 2 minutes for that test to come up +. I was shocked!
I’m embarrassed to admit it, but in addition to being surprised I was mad. I am a planner, I like to know what’s coming and to be prepared. There were no more babies in my plan, I had PEACE! I settled in my heart to be content with our two. Then, I sold or gave away EVERY LAST STITCH OF BABY CLOTHING. Finally I had even priced the crib- the last remaining piece of baby gear in our house, for the summer yard sale.
Pregnant on Mother’s Day
There it was! I was pregnant on Mother’s day and like it or not Hubs was getting on an airplane in a few hours to be gone for two weeks. What were we going to do?! I went back upstairs and threw that warm stick at his head. I crawled back into bed and cried. Hubs held me telling me it was going to be ok, all the while trying really hard not to laugh. He is much better with plan changes on the fly. Truthfully, the moment I told him what I suspected he started running all the possibilities in his head so he was already planning it out. He was prepared and he was fine.
We finally got up. I got busy with the usual Sunday rush of getting our two kids dressed and out the door. They suddenly seemed much older all ready. Sometime while I showered, blew my hair dry and dressed myself my mind started wrapping itself around this gift. It had always been the desire of my heart to have more than two children. I found myself smiling.
By the time we arrived at church Hubs and I were a giddy, nuzzling, hand holding, sappy sweet couple. We were bubbling with this amazing, newly discovered secret. We had also decided not to tell anyone, for the next two weeks, especially our kids. It was going to be a longer than usual two weeks.
Breaking Our News
I broke down and told my mom before Hubs got back. She was relieved that being pregnant was all it was and laughed at me. It’s a thing in my family to have a later in life child. Sometimes they come by plan like my little brother who is 11 years younger than me and 9 years younger than my sister. Then there is my aunt who was gifted a surprise baby when her older two were already in school. I started to realize how familiar this dynamic would be and how exciting it would be to have one last baby.
We started telling people, and friends were of course surprised but also so happy for us. I heard “Better you than me” followed by a laugh, quite a few times. One friend even dubbed the pregnancy our “Encore baby.”
When I told one of my girlfriends the happy news she could pinpoint the day we found out. She gasped “That’s what was going on with you two in church on Mother’s day! I kept thinking something is up with them. They are even more lovie than usual!” Two of my sweet girlfriends even threw me a baby shower.
Always a Mommy
Apparently, my mothering instincts are strong because people have told me all my life I was going to be a great mom. It was always my desire to be a mom. I love my mom, and I cherish the idea of being home with my own little ones. I like to bake cookies, go on field trips and I wanted to join the PTA.
My first two babies had their normal ups and downs. Sensory issues for Shuugs that made putting clothes on a nightmare for a while.Then there were food allergies that took years to sort out. The Medium child with loose joints sent us to the ER a couple of times and a hard fall required stitches. I think I arrived in parenting ready for these kinds of ups and downs.
Something New
I was not prepared for child number three in more ways than I even knew. My mothering story took a different turn after that memorable Mother’s day. For the first nine years in parenting I felt very capable, prepared and settled in motherhood. This pregnancy started a journey of becoming someone new.
God is using all three of my children in their very different phases of life to teach me. Sometimes the lessons are tough, but there is also a lot of love in them. Each day brings new growth for my me and my three.
I don’t know what your mothering story is, but I would love for you to share. Have you been overwhelmed from the beginning? Is every new thing a challenge for you or your child? Is mothering a natural part of who you are or are you somewhere in between. Maybe life isn’t turning out the way you imagined and God is calling you to become something more, I’d love to hear about it. Please tell your story in the comments.
