How do you stay on the same page as your partner when life gets busy? Is it even possible to keep track of where everyone is supposed to be and when? When do you decide who’s doing school drop off, pick up or waiting at dance class? How do you sort out and get ahead of the business? On Sunday evening we do – HWC- time or “Here’s What’s Comin’”. Simply put, we make time for a weekly calendar review.
As soon as the big kids are banished on Sunday nights (New post coming soon) hubs and I sit down together with our calendars. I am high maintenance when it comes to planning, I want to have everything in one place. My phone has the appointments so I don’t have to keep a planner in my purse, but I like to see it all laid out. Before we talk I gather everything that I need:
- my planner
- pens
- phone calendar
- email open on my laptop
- AND any loose papers or to do lists that haven’t been attached anywhere.
Once I have everything I grab my lap desk and sit on the couch next to Hubs. He pulls out his phone and we are ready. I’d like to say we work our way through the week from Monday – Friday. That is not usually the case. I am very sequential, but my brain sometimes forgets that. I teach on Tuesdays and Thursdays so sometimes those get lumped together then we have to backtrack for Wednesday. Eventually after all the skipping around we get through the week.
Sometimes HWC can be a bit of an exercise in patience for Hubs. He doesn’t “need to know” what all I’m doing all day everyday. He loves me though and lets me talk through anything I need to.
Communication!
Before we started going through our calendar weekly, frustration was the name of the game. Important events, conversations or information did not get shared. I am the household manager and if I can talk through the week’s events, things I have forgotten to tell him come up in the review and he is a lot happier. This makes him feel like we are a team. He is included, informed and the best part: Much more willing to HELP!
With middle school kids who can’t drive yet our HWC gives us dedicated time to sort out who is picking up who at what time and where. We can see what nights everyone is at the table for family dinner. Hubs and I intentionally schedule couch dates once or twice a week. For these we don’t just do our own thing until bedtime, but hang out together watching a show, reading or listening to a podcast. In addition we aim for a date night the second week of every month. More would be amazing, but for now once a month is about all we can find time for.
Together we look ahead and make changes when necessary if the week is looking too busy. This doesn’t mean we loose our spontaneity and do something not on the calendar, but it makes us both more aware of what else is happening in our shared world; and what the domino effect could be.
Preparation!
The kids get out of school soon. To prepare for this event I printed out calendar pages for May, June, July and August. I filled out the camp dates, family vacation, work trips, theater practices, recitals, shows and back to school dates. During HWC Hubs and I looked over the summer and found June was going to be a beast- mostly good stuff but SO busy. Looking ahead we decided we didn’t have much time for a 20th anniversary date, together we adjusted and added that to our July calendar.
Most of the time these Here’s What’s Comin’ meetings are just Hubs and I. As the big kids get older we will include them occasionally. We are preparing ourselves and them for the time when they get older and will need to participate in these meetings. We don’t want their items to be missed on the schedule. New drivers will have pick up responsibilities, jobs to get to and life will get more complicated; but making time to look ahead together will still be important.
Having this weekly conversation on who is going where, when, and what is getting accomplished helped our communication. We have a bigger picture of what all members of our family is involved in. We know we can pull back if it starts to get to crazy because we are in control of the schedule not the other way around.
How about you? Do you have a scheduling technique that works for your family? Does your family have a weekly meeting? Feel free to share your tips and tricks.